You know, I don’t normally forget things of this nature but I really can’t seem to remember the name of this trail I hiked with a friend from Bend, Ben. Silly me, I do remember it is a national park and I won’t forget the slightly romantic (mind you I am totally asexual these days and totally incapable of experiencing anything along those lines) carry I had by Ben across a creek and water fall. Also, we jumped in this amazing pool that was FREEZING cold.
When putting my shoes back on after the afternoon swim I noticed what I thought was an inch worm in my shoe…. I even said this out loud to Ben. Thinking nothing of it I slipped my shoe back on and continued the hike. At this point we did notice the ground was covered in wet leaves, apposed to dry ones. After hiking for about 20 min. Ben noticed what I thought were inch worms on his shoes and legs….not so my friends, not so. I sh** you not, our feet were absolutely covered in leaches, covered. That is right, Stand By Me style, accept luckily, not our private parts. And they were not coming off easily either. They were not like any leech I had seen on TV or could have imagined. They were more like tinny Archean monsters. Ben promptly lost his mind. He was screaming and cussing and totally freaking out. Although I was less than stoked to be bleeding out the ankles, I was a bit awed by the experience of having my blood sucked by this lenticular creature which had a suction cup on either end and once you did get off your shoe would stick to your finger, and once you got off your finger would crawl right back on to you. I always thought roaches were the most impressive vermin, able to survive decapitation (at least for a while) and Nuclear Holocaust (if you aren’t impressed by that, good-bye) , purely from a scientific stand point mind you (how is that for a run on sentence). In any event I got my leeches off faster, and just watched as he totally panicked.
It was reminiscent of the time I went on a a canoe trip with a boy in Fairbanks and made the mistake of trusting his judgment on where to put in, not even glancing at the map myself. After we capsized on a log jam and I nearly drowned, no joke. I gathered myself and suggested we hike back to the road, hitch a ride, and come back in the morning for our things, or whatever remained of them, because after all it was now dusk. He lost his mind. He was freaking out and I had to do everything just short of carry him a few miles back the road. Men…. Take my advise ladies, look at the map yourself, and if you don’t think it is the right spot to put in, DON”T PUT IN. Not to sound bitter. Rant completed.